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Monday 3 October 2011

Feedback On Script


Abigail - Show her illness is affecting her, through Mise En Scene Body language Appearance ETC...

Josh- I don't think he'd actually laugh at the brother, maybe you could say that he sees his brothers with friends and he's by himself.

Ms Nair- The audience wont know there brothers, you need to show that they're related in some way haven't set up the difference and relationship between them both, i think you might need to a few extra scene, like for example the brother has friends to pick him up from school. There's not a strong representation of the favoritism between the mother and two sons.
The script seems a bit random, you need to tighten it and fill in the gaps.

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